How many times have you fallen into the trap of signing up for a strategy that promises that you’ll make $X dollars in Y days?
It’s so easy to believe that you’re missing a magical formula that everyone else seems to have dialed in.
In this episode, I’m going to break down a truth bomb, which is that 80% of the time it’s mindset, not mechanics holding you back.
In this Women Developing Brilliance® — The Spirit of Business episode, you’ll learn:
💜 How to determine if it’s skillset or mindset that’s keeping you from magnificent achievements
💜 Why knowing how to mold your mental layers gives you a massive competitive advantage
💜 The power of pausing before you sign up for the next shiny strategy
💜 How to wash, rinse and repeat the process so you don’t have to be a victim of circumstance
Kc is a great host, thoughtful in her questions, insightful in her shares and aligned with her mission and purpose, a clear channel of brilliance to share with the world. And her guests are full of great information and tools to help you rise to new Heights of happiness and success.
Nectarlove from the United States
[00:00:36] Kc Rossi: Hello. And welcome. Welcome back to the show. How many times have you been cruising along with an amazing idea, a new strategy that you saw online that will help you make X dollars in Y days only within a couple of months or even weeks you're onto another success strategy with promises to fill your client roster only working 20 hours [00:01:00] or less per week.
[00:01:01] Right? This cycle looks. Uh, cool ad or post that pulls you into reading a few interesting testimonials and bang. You're clicking on the buy now button with hopes that it's the missing link to your success. And I'm chuckling inside because my hand is raised as well. We all do this and it comes from a very well-meaning place.
[00:01:24] More often than not only a small percentage of buyers experienced the results advertised. That's why the fine print says results not typical, right? They have these disclaimers on their sales pages and that's not for happenstance. It's most likely not because the marketing was sleazy, although it could have been.
[00:01:45] The majority of the time. It's because you didn't need another stinking strategy. I'm just going to say it. You don't need another stinking strategy. You see you are a high achieving female entrepreneur with [00:02:00] oodles of talent, certifications and smarts. I don't doubt this for a minute. And here's the secret.
[00:02:08] You really possess everything you need within you to achieve greatness and abundance. Let that sink in for a second. You really possess everything you need within you to achieve greatness and abundance now. When you're stuck, procrastinating on a project or not seeing the results that you want in your life and business, it's not usually because it's a skill set thing.
[00:02:34] Now, some people will say it's a time management piece and that may be a part of it. But what I see and experience both with myself and my clients is, are you ready for it? It's a mindset thing. But only 80% of the time. And I'm like inserting a little chuckle. Like if I had one of those sound machines, I would insert a little chuckle because truly it is [00:03:00] like 80% of the time.
[00:03:02] And a couple of years ago I attended a leadership event and they did this powerful exercise. They prompted us to dream big. And imagine being on a stage, receiving an award, you could even do this for yourself when I'm talking, talking this out. So just even pause and. If you're not driving or on a treadmill, if you are, you can always circle back to this.
[00:03:28] Or you can just kind of be thinking about it as I'm talking about it. But think for a minute, like imagine being on a stage and receiving an award, actually see yourself walking up on that stage and receiving the award and looking out into the audience and really feeling those feelings. Of self-satisfaction and excitement.
[00:03:51] And they had us journaling out all the details. Again, visualizing the people, clapping, the feelings that came up when we were [00:04:00] receiving the award, recalling all that it took to get to such a magnificent achievement. And if you did this, you can kind of take some time and really pump up the volume on this.
[00:04:12] So you can really put yourself in that place, in the future. You know, accepting that award, like whatever it is, like maybe you got on the New York Times bestseller, like whatever the thing is that you're most excited about that you're just elated that you achieved this accomplishment. I want you to be in that bubble like really encapsulate that moment.
[00:04:37] And here's the next part. So they then instructed us to. Think about what was getting in the way of that moment. So I'm going to do the same with you. Like what is the thing that is getting in the way from where you are right now? Point A to that magnificent moment of achievement, that point [00:05:00] B. And if you were to rank it out of.
[00:05:06] Three different categories. So the percentage between, do you think that it's education that you need to get to that moment of achievement? Do you need to learn more or is it a skill set thing? Do you need to practice more to become an expert before you get that moment of achievement? And the third category is mindset.
[00:05:34] Is there a limiting belief holding you back from that moment? Is there something that has to do with imposter syndrome or I'm not good enough or lack of confidence or it's been done before? Is it something in the mindset category? So just take a second and think about that for yourself. What is the big part of that hundred percent pie?
[00:05:59] How [00:06:00] does it get sliced up for you when you're thinking about the roadblock between where you are now and a magnificent moment of achievement in the future, how does it break out for you? Is it education? Do you need to learn more? Is it skill set? Do you need to practice more or is it mindset? Is there a limiting belief holding you back from that moment?
[00:06:23] So I'm going to share with you the survey results from that. Um, event. And I want to let you know that all the data from the room was from almost 40 professional coaches, cause it was a coaching event. So there was 40 intellectual, you know, successful professional coaches in the room. And here's the thing.
[00:06:46] 80% said that mindset was the thing that was holding them back from what they desired and from achieving their dreams. Now, this absolutely blew me away. My results [00:07:00] actually fell in line with that as well. And I clearly remember turning to the girlfriend next to me. We were peer coaches at, at a group table and I looked at her with total sincerity and said, then why aren't we all mindset coaches?
[00:07:14] If that's the thing that creates the most transforming. I mean, I really, I really meant it right from the bottom of my toes. She kind of sloughed it off like a little snide, you know, side snickle, um, snickle. I don't even know if that's a word, but yeah. She just kind of sloughed it off and was like, gave me a little, you know, grin.
[00:07:34] But for me it was so significant. That honestly, instead of continue on the path that I was on, which was enrolling in their corporate and leadership program, I immediately started researching mindset training. And as many of you know, in 2020 at the top of that year, I did an extensive year long training covering neuro-linguistic programming.
[00:07:54] Habits, mindset, emotional freedom technique and the law of attraction and a bunch of other things, [00:08:00] because it was such an aha moment for me. And I really did also see that wow, with all the years of traditional business coaching that I was doing, that this was the thing that I felt, holy smokes, this is the key that's gonna unlock it.
[00:08:17] This is the thing that's going to move the needle. For my clients and it absolutely completely changed the way that I saw life executed on my own. And it did improve my business coaching and my clients did receive like more clarity, more it's like it was amazing it's it was not another strategy that they needed.
[00:08:41] It was in the mental realm. It was definitely not something that. They could learn it wasn't a skill and it wasn't more of knowledge. They didn't need to enroll in another program, or course they didn't need to get smarter. And I'm guessing you don't either. Right? You have so [00:09:00] much education in your backpack of knowledge from this journey.
[00:09:06] And here's the thing, because mindset is a combination of our thoughts, beliefs, and feelings, in essence, it's our attitude and philosophy on life, that it is the lever that has the greatest trickle-down effect and direct impact on a result when it's pulled. And to me, knowing this gives us a massive. A massive edge mindset is layered, but it's also easily malleable, which is to our great advantage.
[00:09:36] And I want to just unpack that for like a minute. There are several layers of mindset. It is not just about airy fairy or woo affirmations, or think it until it becomes reality. In fact, you probably, if you caught last week, when I really talked about upgrading your identity and acting as if now to experience more of what you desire that acting as [00:10:00] if that is just a teeny, teeny drop in the bucket of law of attraction. Mindset is very similar where it's a complete book.
[00:10:08] If you will, of ingredients and blueprints and frameworks and understanding your brain and having all these different tools. To help you execute on things and shift bad habits or negative internal talk around. So one, it is not necessarily a simple subject, but the cool thing is when I talk about it being malleable, it's something that can be trained, which is very exciting.
[00:10:37] You have that difference between a fixed mindset, which is very black and white thinking. And when I think of that, I visually. Um, kind of think of this image of cement where it's just very hard. It's like a hard rock mountain. And so if you don't put these mindful practices in and cultivate things from a very [00:11:00] intentional sole source way, Then it could over time.
[00:11:04] Be very easy to have, Nope. This is the way that I do it. I either can do it or I can't do it. It's black or white. I have the skill or I don't. And that is really coming in the fixed mindset category. And these terms were coined by Carol Dweck. Who's one of the leading psychologists on mindset. She wrote the book on it.
[00:11:26] Literally, and then the flip to that is growth mindset. And this is where I am leaning to when I'm talking about mindset being malleable, because growth mindset is you may not know it yet. You know, that there's unlimited potential, that you have the capability, you have hope knowing that your future can be better than your present.
[00:11:48] And in that you are able to have the confidence, have the self-efficacy that. It may not be choice a or B, but guess what? It could be a through [00:12:00] Z. And then if that doesn't work, it'd B a, B, B, C, C. It is unlimited pathways. You are the agent of your own life. This is the most exciting thing. And neurochemically when we start to have these repetitive habits, we actually can.
[00:12:17] When I talk again about being malleable, we can create new grooves in our brain. So it's just almost like this multi-lane highway that maybe we've been doing something for a very long time. Over and over and over again. And it's a deep groove, you know, and we see this often when it comes up with habits, but when you start to be conscious and you literally start having intentional ways where you can turn around negative thinking and create that new pathway, it's like, you know what, we're not going to go left anymore.
[00:12:50] And sometimes it doesn't even have to be this massive contrast. The massive contrast would be, we're not going to take this left route anymore. We're going to go all the way over here to the [00:13:00] right. And in, in some instances you may need to do that, but in most instances, it's just a couple of degrees. So you might be over here at a certain percentage on your GPS, and you may just need to tick your GPS compass over a couple of degrees, which is very, very cool because it can have a massive transformation over time.
[00:13:24] With a micro change. So that is very exciting. So again, that's a little bit of an unpacking when I say mindset is layered, but it is also easily malleable, which is to our great advantage. We have the power to shift directions and influence our destination. So for many of you, that destination could be, you know, a certain goal for your business or relationship, something that you desire for optimal health, whatever that is, that is something that you have control over your [00:14:00] destination.
[00:14:00] So let's take business for an example. If you were to pause about a recent problem in your business, what helped you solve it with ease? Was it how. [00:15:00] Um, like the, how part was it? The working parts that, that contributed to the solution? Or was it how you approach the problem and the way you thought about the problem that helped you navigate it?
[00:15:14] Like a pro? Again, it was probably a combination of both, but if you were to really break it down again in that percentage pie, I think you're going to find how you approached it mentally. The way that you thought about the solutions or the multiple solutions, the way that you took control with self-efficacy that no problem.
[00:15:35] This really isn't even a problem. You know, this is just something coming up right now. Something that I can learn from that is going to shift so much. Is this going to. Completely damper down the amount of stress and the triggers that go into our nervous system when we handle it just specifically from the how to stage, you know, or [00:16:00] that kind of like, um, triggering off that fight or flight, you know, when we're, when we're approached with something that just is like, oh man, can't believe that happened.
[00:16:08] And we just can kind of spiral down. So. Something to think about it is absolutely no coincidence that how we think triggers our feelings, which stimulate action, which of course determines the results. And I call this the mindset cascade. You're going to start to hear me probably talk about this over and over again, because you know, when I was thinking about this really scientifically proven way, right?
[00:16:37] So I didn't come up with the. The way that we handle thoughts, feelings, actions, and results. This has been proven by scientists, but when I visualized it, cause I was really, I'm a visual person. So I always like to anchor and my learnings by a picture. And so I was like, [00:17:00] well, yeah, this makes total sense.
[00:17:02] How we think is going to trigger how we feel. That makes total sense, like logically I'm onboard, which stimulates action because feelings, whether we want to be out of pain or whether we're moving towards pleasure, we are going to have, um, action, be stimulated. We're going to actually move. There's going to be momentum there.
[00:17:20] And then we know that. Come from action results. Can't come from procrastination. Lack of results can, right. But results also can't come from stagnation results. Can't come. If we're stuck in our mind space, we literally need some kind of momentum and action to have results. And so when I was thinking about this, I was like, I'm envisioning a waterfall.
[00:17:44] I'm envisioning a cascade. And to me, this is all about mindset. And that's why I was like, How I'm going to be talking about this and what really feels in alignment with this process is the mindset cascade. So I hope that [00:18:00] that's kind of like clicking in for you as well. Now, the cool thing about this is that we can turn around negative thoughts and internal dialogue, as soon as we feel it spiraling down.
[00:18:13] Now, on the other hand, by refining your perception. You could have multiple pathways to problem solving and one level up, take the obstacle and use it to become stronger. And this brings to mind one of my favorite terms coined by Nassim to leap, which is antifragile and the seam says wind extinguishes, a candle and energizes fight.
[00:18:38] I love that quote. And I think about how interesting it is and dynamic and amazing that the same element wind has the power to create and destroy. And we see this in nature on a daily basis, whether it's water, whether it's wind, whether it's a fire. It's so interesting to me [00:19:00] that you have this yin Yung synergy.
[00:19:02] You have this positive and negative reactions and it's all within. The spectrum. So we could be using fire to cook and to heat things into field warm or fire can have the power to devastate acres of beautiful rain forest, or burn your house down to the ground. And it's these strong contrast to me that always give me some food for thought.
[00:19:30] And I'm digressing, but I just find it so interesting. But back to the point of this anti-fragility concept and really understanding that it is not, if we are going to have obstacles in our life, we know that we are, we are really living on the earth plane, where it is filled with matter. And one of the definitions of matter is that it's constantly.
[00:19:56] It's constantly changing there. Isn't this [00:20:00] stability. There is again. Yin yang effect this plus minus effect this, um, calmness and peace and balance, which we're all looking for. And then some turbulence obstacles and challenges. So it is this kind of dance, this, this up and down dance, and it's the mindset that is going to help us become anti-fragile.
[00:20:23] And to realize that the mind. Is much more powerful than the mechanics and truly 80% of the time. It's not that we need another blueprint. Another strategy. Another thing to jump to it is how do we become the captains of our own ship harness, all of the power and knowledge and brilliance and heart beauty, heart wisdom, gut wisdom inside of us.
[00:20:54] To stay on the path, put one foot in front of the other and do the thing, do [00:21:00] our life live our life, show up, you know, um, really have that sense. And I don't really want to say sense of urgency, but there is kind of a sense of urgency. And I don't mean that in the way of, oh my gosh. I have to do, just have to do this frenetic energy.
[00:21:16] Gotta do it. Gotta do it. Run, run, run. I don't mean that. And I've lived that kind of life. For a lot of years of my 30 years of being an entrepreneur, I had a lot of frenetic energy, a lot of this buy into hustle culture. And it wasn't until, you know, I don't know. I think I was tired of physically being burned out and mentally fried that it was like, there absolutely has to be another way that it was like, okay, how do we become more balanced and integrating.
[00:21:48] Look at our obstacles and challenges with a different way. We get to control that, right? Our political leaders don't get to control that the news doesn't get to control that we actually, [00:22:00] if we want to feel stable, we can literally get into that true, true power position and know that we get to control what is in our mind, which again, knowing about that mindset cascade, how we.
[00:22:17] Triggers how we feel triggers, how we act, which is a direct result to our results. That's a direct indicator to the results. When you go back, whether you did it with me on the pod, or you're going to go back and journal, um, you can take a look at the transcript in the show notes to, to, to look at that, um, exercise if you were called to.
[00:22:42] And when you think about what was holding you back, and maybe you just even know right away, maybe you're like Casey. I already know. I know it's my mind. I can't seem to break this repetitive habit, or I can't seem to get out of my own way. I know what to do. I logically know what to do, but for some reason [00:23:00] I'm being held back.
[00:23:01] If it's mindset, how can you start molding the clay? I E. Your beliefs to work for you and not against. Because when you pause to think about your desires, whether they're getting fit, eating, healthy, finding a loving partner or scaling your business is knowledge, skill, or mindset. What's blocking you from experiencing the results that you want.
[00:23:28] And again, if it's mindset, how can you start molding the clay to work for you and not against you? If light bulbs are going off for you, like they were from. Then I invite you to visit my women, developing brilliance, Facebook group, where we continue the conversation started here on the pod. And so whatever is coming up for you share it with me.
[00:23:49] If you're like, man, this landed for me or I'm still stuck and needs support. Join us over there because mindset over mechanics is going to be the upcoming [00:24:00] thing. Um, and the upcoming theme, I should say that, that we're going to be really diving deep in. So the next time you're ready to play leapfrog with your sales and marketing before you buy in, then thinking that it's a strategy.
[00:24:20] Instead of buying in my invitation to you is go within, go inward, silence the noise and get really honest with yourself. If you need another strategy piece, because again, 80% of the time it's what's between your ears that has the power to hold you back. Propel you forward. And that is my greatest hope and wish and deep knowing is that we all have this power to propel forward, shine brighter than we've ever shown before.
[00:24:55] And I do feel that now is the time I do feel. We're ready [00:25:00] to bust open and to bloom open. I love the quote from a nice Nin that really talks about, you know, the, the bud, when it gets to that painful state, just being in the bud form, that it has absolutely no choice, but to blossom and burst open. Of course, I'm, adlibbing there, you know, not a direct quote, but from memory, but.
[00:25:24] Has been very meaningful for me in my life. And I know what it feels like to be stuck. And I know what it feels like to experience that pain of like, why can't I move forward? I really want to be a strong, confident, brilliant leader, but what's holding me back. And again, Majority of the time, it's our mindset.
[00:25:46] So you're not alone if you're feeling that, um, it is literally my honor to help women bust out and bloom forth. So that's what I wanted to share with you today until next week, [00:26:00] my friend breathe joy and. If you liked this episode or this pod in general, I would be grateful if you went to lovethepodcast.com/brilliance and left a rating or review, it means a lot to me to hear from you and how you implement.
[00:26:17] Kc Rossi: I want to underscore that. I love to hear how you implement what we talk about on the pod, because information without implementation, you hear me say this all the time is a waste of time. I want to share with you something that nectar love from the US uh, shared with me. And she says, ah, this podcast is five star passion and purpose.
[00:26:42] Casey is a great host, thoughtful in her questions, insightful in her shares and aligned with her mission and purpose, a clear channel of brilliance to share with the world. And her guests are full of great information and tools to help you rise to new Heights of happiness and success. [00:27:00] Thank you. Wow. Thank you.
[00:27:03] "nectar love" I appreciate you taking the time to share. It really touches my heart and I a hundred percent agree with you that my guests are wonderful sources of inspiration. I am blown away. Uh, almost every single time. I am able to connect with a beautiful. Feminine lighthouse that is stepping into her bravery and courage and purpose.
[00:27:28] And sharing it because every act of creating content, every time we have the bravery to create something, to use our voice, to go on camera, to record something, to write a blog is an act of bravery and courage. And it is my great pleasure to be a part of these amazing transformational conversations. So thank you so much for leaving that feedback.
[00:27:55] And you, my friend, if you'd like to share your thoughts, head on over to [00:28:00] lovethepodcast.com/brilliance. Thank You!
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