Kc Rossi 0:00
Hello! Welcome, Welcome back to Women Developing Brilliance — The Spirit of Business. Today is day three in the How To Reduce Overwhelm Starting Today's series, that was actually a live stream that I wanted to share with you. Now many times, subtracting things from our day helps us avoid feeling stressed and stretched in too many directions. However, this tip, we are adding something boundaries, establishing and sticking to boundaries has been immensely helpful in my own life in business. And I came across a beautiful quote from Brene Brown. And she says, "Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we run the risk of disappointing others." I love that I hope you enjoy today's episode, and stick around for tomorrow, which will be day four. Enjoy.
Kc Rossi 0:55
Hello, Hello, good afternoon, I wanted to continue our series all about reducing overwhelm, starting with today. So we are talking about a combination of both adding things to our routine and subtracting things from our routine for the best optimization. So the first two days of our series, we were actually subtracting things. So if you haven't caught those, you can definitely check out the replays in your stream.
Kc Rossi 1:29
Today, we are actually going to be adding something. And it's something that personally I have had the biggest return on investment. And that is boundary setting. Such a huge topic we could go on for days. But I'm going to keep this concise. So you can just jump in, be laser focused and and extract the nugget of information. So basically, when we don't set boundaries, and boundaries is really all about those dividing lines, you know, just putting a line in the sand or having those markers where we're very mindful and conscious that we stay in our zone. And we don't necessarily step over it when it comes to well being and being disciplined.
Kc Rossi 2:18
So one of the things with boundary setting is when we don't do that for ourselves. And as entrepreneurs and CEOs and leaders, it's our responsibility to set those, which is both a double edged sword because it's exciting. Many times we got into these lanes for freedom. But on the flip side, sometimes we can get a little willy nilly, because we are the ones that are responsible to set these boundaries or these grid lines, if you will. So one of the things before I get too far ahead, I just want to say that it is not about rigid structure that is so inflexible. It is truly about setting up these kind of like soft bumpers or buffers, if you will, for our own good.
Kc Rossi 3:12
I'm going to give you a couple of examples. Before I do that, I just want to touch on what happens when we don't set boundaries, which I'm sure you're familiar with. I've had these personal experiences as well. When we don't have these boundaries in place, we can absolutely be feeling in a space of resentment, because we're over giving. And I've experienced this depending also on your Enneagram type. If you are that caregiver, or many people are in that people pleasing perfectionist mode, we can absolutely over give. And without that boundary we have these like self inflicted emotions arise, which could absolutely fall into the resentment category. Not a fun place to be. Absolutely we can experience overwhelm. We can experience burnout, when we don't have boundaries when we just keep pushing, pushing ourselves pushing the envelope, pushing the time and hours we spend in our work.
Kc Rossi 4:19
I also think it sets us up for a level of disrespect because we are in this mode of kind of a jump how high so if somebody is contacting us we are maybe always there for hyper village village and I've experienced that as well. And so it really comes from this deep personal experience of having these painful situations when boundaries were in place that has given me this passion to one turn my own life and business around and really start putting in these boundaries and to help others because many times it is little Just one being aware of it.
Kc Rossi 5:02
Really awareness and attention is the very first step in any change work, and to committing to making changes, even if they are micro actions or micro steps. And I actually, it's not even just even if because the micro changes are the ones that hold the most. And science backs this up, when we try to make too large of a change, it's very difficult for our brain to shift and create new habits. So even when you're listening to this series, my recommendation is that you don't try to implement all of these tips. That's why I tried to break it out into a five day series, versus say, doing a 45 minute workshop all about overwhelm. Because that even sounded overwhelming for me to create, which I knew that it was going to be overwhelming for my listeners to implement.
Kc Rossi 5:56
I recommend you just listening to the series, pick one thing that resonates with you, and then put that into action right away, and then test for yourself what kind of results you're getting, before you try to implement multiple strategies at the same time. Okay, deal, you're going to have the best results, if you do that. Now the benefit of putting boundaries is actually it increases respect from others, whether it's people on our team peers, family members, people actually secretly appreciate and respect having boundaries. So I think many times the fear is, oh, my gosh, if I don't get back to somebody, in this short period of window, they're gonna think that I'm blowing them off or fill in the blank. But I feel that if your communication is on point, they're actually going to be like, Wow, that is really cool. They're going to start to respect you, they're going to start to really honor you and your excellent communication. So the other thing is, we're being proactive against burning out, which is something that is on the rise across all industries.
Kc Rossi 7:06
It's something that many times you have the control to shift and pivot away from because you are the curator of your destiny that is not just fluffy words, it actually can be truth for you, if you embrace it, and you choose it. I feel now to more than ever having that category, we where we are prioritizing our health, our mental health, our emotional health, right? Our Holistic Health, this is what's going to bring longevity and sustainability and an opportunity to have more of that work life balance, and not have that to be some like a elusive, trendy hashtag, but something that you can actually embody and put into place. The other thing establishing boundaries does for you is it increases your self trust, especially when you follow through on what you say you're going to do, you will actually start reinforcing that self trust muscle, which will increase your confidence and your identity, all very positive things in your life and business.
Kc Rossi 8:16
I'm going to give you a couple examples, you probably if you get really still already know what boundaries you could put into place. And you know, one great way to do it is just get really quiet. And at the end of the day, just ask yourself, Where did you feel you had to push? What did you see on your to do list that you were procrastinating? And why? You know, when did you maybe work a little bit longer than you wanted to and then just felt very exhausted?
Kc Rossi 8:44
Or what areas could you target where you actually did start to experience some anger or some resentment. So if you ask yourself those questions, those are going to be excellent spots for you to notice and highlight. And then say to yourself, if I had a boundary in place in one of those or all of those scenarios, how would that have positively affected it? How would it have made it different in a better way. And that's going to be a great indicator for you to start creating those boundaries.
Kc Rossi 9:18
I'll give you a few examples in my own life. I used to be very, very attentive to email. And I was absolutely in that jump how high mode so I would hear a ding or a buzz or taxed or you know, and I would just be like, oh, somebody needs me. And there was this kind of like a sense of addiction or dopamine hit because it was like a buzzer like we're really programmed to be on alert. And I really felt like I had to be the one to just answer back lickety split because that's what a good leader does. And I would say that I was probably opening up my multiple inboxes at least 100 times and that may sound good Excessive but you probably do something similar or close to it. Because when you look at the research, and I think I mentioned this in one of my other live streams, the touch points that we have on our devices is astronomical. So I would say on average, I was looking at my inboxes, about 100 times a day. And I didn't realize how that was draining my energy and causing overwhelm, and a lot of unnecessary overwhelm. Because let's face it, not everything in our inbox is urgent, or really even necessary. And I do feel that we're actually even getting more inundated than ever, that's a topic for another day. However, when I recognized it, and committed to putting boundaries in place to only check my inbox at 10am and 3pm. Things absolutely started to shift.
Kc Rossi 10:56
Now, one, it wasn't easy to it felt super awkward I had, I had to really damper down those voices in my head that was like, Oh, my gosh, people are going to be waiting for me or, you know, just there's this urgency that we get programmed to, and our nervous system actually starts to regulate for this kind of fight or flight reactive mode. So it just be prepared that when you do make any changes, or you start to implement boundaries, it's not necessarily going to be easy or comfortable. But the return is absolutely going to be worth it. I would say honestly, it took me up to about two weeks to start to unthread, that addiction of email management or reactivity to notifications. And then all of a sudden, I was like, I am starting to feel freer lighter, having more energy at the end of the day.
Kc Rossi 11:52
And that's just one example of putting boundaries in the other thing on more of a emotional, physiological level, when I see clients, and again, I have personal experience in this install boundaries, their auto immune conditions start to shift in a positive way. That's a side note, I'mnot a doctor. But I definitely have seen that both in myself. And with clients. There is something about actually standing up for yourself, putting in boundaries, and actually communicating what you need and sticking to those boundaries, that does something on a physiological emotional level, which is pretty exciting.
Kc Rossi 12:34
Because we are multifaceted beings, and everything is incurred interconnected for our holistic well being. So there is no surprise that there is a positive trickle down effect when we start to focus on this change, work change work. So my friends, this is tip number three for you in our five part series on how to reduce overwhelm. Today is all about installing boundaries. So my invitation to you is to do a little audit, ask yourself where you could be putting in a boundary, maybe it's in communication, maybe isn't asking for what you need.
Kc Rossi 13:10
Maybe it's in that email management or that notification loop that we get very reactive to another huge one is ending our day at a reasonable time that we stick to. So that is another crucial, crucial one, that we can absolutely conserve time, which opens up space to really focus on our family, our loved ones, our own self care. So it actually again, has increased layered positive results for your well being. So you may think it's just about reducing overwhelmed, but I don't think we really truly understand the depth of what overwhelm can do to ourselves, our family, our business. So when you start peeling back those layers and taking these micro actions towards change, all of a sudden like it is truly bricks off your forehead, easier breathing. And just really I'm not going to say it's effortless because let's face it, life is not effortless, but there is absolutely more flow and glide, if you will, right to your day into your business.
Kc Rossi 14:26
I would love to hear what tip you are going to implement. I'm KC Rossi, a mindset and leadership coach and I help individuals leaders, entrepreneurs and CEOs really go from burned out people pleasing perfectionist to profitable powerhouses and when I say profitable powerhouses, I am talking about holistic wealth.
Kc Rossi 14:49
Alright, so my friends if you have any questions, feel free to reach out. I'm here to support you. And I will touch base with you tomorrow for tip number four in this series. How to Reduce overwhelm starting today until then, Breathe Joy!
Transcribed by https://otter.ai