Kc Rossi 0:00
"Self-control is crucial for the successful pursuit of long term goals. It is equally essential for developing the self- restraint and empathy needed to build caring and mutually supportive relationships. It can help people avoid becoming impervious to consequences, or getting stuck in jobs they hate. It is the master aptitude underlying emotional intelligence essential for constructing a fulfilling life." That's a quote from Walter Mischel, author of The Marshmallow Test, why self control is the engine to success.
Kc Rossi 0:39
Are you ready to scale your business in a way that's aligned with your soul, and profitable? I'm Kc Rossi, a Business and Leadership Coach. I've been a full time entrepreneur for 30 years and love business. I help conscious leaders increase their impact and optimize their lives. Join me each week for tips and deep conversations on cultivating confidence, increasing your visibility, elevating your vibration, and leading with purpose without burning out. Let's go.
Kc Rossi 1:13
I love this topic for a variety of reasons. Right off the bat, I don't think many people immediately think that impulse control is one of the key elements to decision making...but it is. EQI 2.0 is one of the world's most recognized assessments for emotional intelligence. It has over 25 years of research behind it. And in the EQI 2.0 model, impulse control is one of the sub scales of decision making. It directly correlates with performance, well being and emotional and social functioning.
Kc Rossi 1:49
So what does that mean for you?
Kc Rossi 1:51
It means that if you have a better understanding, and moreover, if you can control your impulses, you will be able to navigate to success faster, and easier. So this is good news. As with anything, awareness is the first step. The fact that you're even listening to this podcast tells me that you are a leader looking to optimize your life and business. So yay, you. :-)
Kc Rossi 2:19
I'm a firm believer in the Kaizen philosophy, which is the Japanese philosophy of never ending improvement. If we don't know better, how can we do better? Right. So before we go deeper, I want to commend you and your commitment to continuous learning, growth and improvement.
Kc Rossi 2:37
Okay, now let's take a look at some research regarding self control. The marshmallow test was conducted by a psychologist and Stanford University Professor Walter Mischel in 1972 (that was the year I was born!). In a nutshell, nursery school children were given a choice of having one marshmallow or pretzel stick now, or if they waited for the adult to come back in the room, they could have two treats. Some very fascinating findings arose from the research, including delaying gratification led to better measures later in the participants life, from SAT scores to their body mass index. That's incredible.
Kc Rossi 3:19
But what I found most interesting was the concept of a hot brain and a cool brain. As further discussed in Professor Mitchell's book, he says that the power is not in the stimulus, but in how we think about it. This dovetails into cognitive behavioral theory, which I call the Mindset Cascade, where our thoughts control our feelings which control our actions or non reactions, ultimately contributing to our results.
Kc Rossi 3:48
So if we think about the stimulus in a hot way impulsive, focused on instant gratification intensely, most likely, we're going to succumb to the temptation in the context of emotional intelligence. If you have a lower relationship with impulse control, it will affect acting too impulsively, making rash decisions, jumping the gun, and overall calm consideration. This definitely affects your leadership and can contribute to stress and create even more fires that you're going to have to attend to, which will lead to more stress. So you can see how this can turn into a vicious cycle.
Kc Rossi 4:27
But here's the thing. The flip of this is to learn how to propagate a cool brain, you have the power to shift how you mentally appraise the stimulus in any given situation. If you remove its power and to lure you are better apt to have a stronger relationship with impulse control, improving your reaction and responses. A couple of ways that you can cool your brain to strengthen self control is to stay focused on your goals. distance yourself from the stimulus or through distractions. Walter says if we're constantly driven by our hot impulses, and incapable of rationally cooling those impulses for immediate gratification, we're going to have a tough time constructing an optimal life totally makes sense.
Kc Rossi 5:17
I have to say I've struggled with emotional eating. So I have personal experience with the hot brain, cool brain concept. For example, after a long day of work, the idea or thought of a crispy, hot, delicious pizza is tempting. My brain is hot, and my thoughts are intensifying the stimulus. If I stay in that mind space, you bet I'll be preheating the oven, the minute I'm in the kitchen. Whereas if I'm conscious of the initial thought of man, a delicious pizza sounds great tonight. But then I take a moment to consider a few things. I'm adding space between that stimulus and the choice. And I might be asking myself, does this line up with wanting to get to a healthier weight? Does this make sense to eat when it's 9pm? When I'm going to bed soon? What else could I have instead, that will make me feel better in the morning. Or maybe I even do a distraction, like a hot shower, just to continue to put that space between that hot, tempting brain and the actual choice that I'm going to make.
Kc Rossi 6:22
So you can see how putting this space in between the stimulus and response can change the action, and ultimately, the results.
Kc Rossi 6:31
Now, I want to point out, this isn't about being on a suffering trip at all. It's about awareness, and choice and optimizing our results. It's about incremental improvement, so it absolutely is a practice.
Kc Rossi 6:48
So think about a situation in your own life or business where perhaps you acted hastily. Now, think about how you could have cooled down your brain and added some space before acting. Good. How do you think it could have affected your outcome if you exercise better impulse control? Again, this is about mindfulness. It's about improving your relationship with emotional intelligence, including impulse control. So my invitation to you is to pay attention today to your thoughts, and your self control. Breathe into the choice with this increased awareness, and be curious as to how your actions affect your results.
Kc Rossi 7:41
Happy practicing. And until next week, breathe joy.
Kc Rossi 7:45
I hope you enjoyed today's episode. If you're interested in improving your relationship with emotional intelligence, reach out to me — I am a certified provider of the EQI 2.0 assessment, which is so powerful. You gain an incredible amount of insights on how you're programmed and your relationship with everything from self perception, self expression, interpersonal relationships, and that decision making composite that we talked about today, including impulse control.
Kc Rossi 8:18
So my friends don't forget to subscribe and share this episode if you found value in it, and I can't wait to connect with you next week. Thank you!